Journey :: Life, God and Art

The other day I was hanging out with a friend at an amazing coffee shop (I won't say which because there's some bitterness (pun not intended) regarding one not so great one that I think I need to get over...) and we were discussing songwriting. One of the thoughts that arose was that it's oddly difficult to write about LIFE; the day-to-day dealings such as listening to a best friend cry about something, or a break up with a significant other or fighting with your family or whatever. I agree with her: it is difficult to write about those things. Especially in trying to use new language to express the same old ideas and scenarios. I think we as a Christian culture also understand this when trying to be creative about worship songs or just in ways to express our heart to the Lord.

Now, I've sat here at the "New Post" tab of my blog for about an hour now, trying to decide what to write about. Looking over old blog posts, I find myself really sick about reading a history of my day or week or whatever. Someone this weekend told the IHOP teenagers in regards to conversations with the opposite sex, "Who really wants a historical account of your day!?" I know I can be found in Chronicles and the genealogy of Jesus, but that doesn't mean I have to write like that: "First I pulled down my trousers... second I squatted... third I pulled out my phone and opened up my facebook app... LOOK! 5 notifications... fourth,"... you get the picture. Thus, I am trying to work my way out of that box and write about stuff that is actually MEANINGFUL to me. They very well COULD be life events, but I want to dig deeper and answer questions like, "why does this affect me?" "what are my thoughts/fears/delights about this?" "what does the Lord think about this?" Which brings me to my next point.

I don't know if I want to write about the Lord so much. WAIT! Before y'all go off and start typing about JD being apostate (I just typed "aprostate"... twice now... hehehe...okay... focus!), what I mean is, I don't necessarily want to blog about my thoughts on the Word or my relationship with Him. I think that those things will come out as I express the other aspects of my life. I want to be able to talk about relationships, art mediums, experiences, my heart - both light and dark sides - as unhindered and unreserved as possible, in order to get to root issues and discover depths of myself that I have only caught glimpses of. Already, I think that sounds so sacrilegious - I should be searching out the depths of the Lord's heart and I am - but I'm not certain if it should sound as such.

Part of my journey is discovering who I am as a man. This involves who God says I am, what I think I am, how I respond in situations, my integrity, character, all of that and to a certain degree how people see me. I also want to understand how I see things. I know I have deep thoughts. I know I'm not as shallow as I accuse myself of being when I can't think of anything witty to say or give any intellectual input to a conversation for fear of God-knows-what. I think part of this discovery will be through writing. I enjoy writing. I enjoy language. I enjoy grammar, though, I know I may often miss the mark. I've experienced that keeping a written journal about my Bible studies and my prayer time has given me more language and more understanding about the Lord than speaking out loud. Furthermore, I would like to use these discoveries and the "muscle" I build as a writer to influence my songwriting.

The question I pose to myself, then, is this: Does life, God and art (writing, songwriting, painting, sculpting, etc.) need to be separated? That is, does art need revolve solely on God and direct thoughts about Him, or solely on life and its twist, turns and heart wrenches in order to be considered excellent art? Is there a way to join the three? To discuss the raw, crude, organic circumstances and emotions of life and yet acknowledge and even more, SEE the face of God in these musings? I am certain the answer is a resounding YES; there is a way to join life, God and writing in a way that both expresses the natural heart and glorifies the Father for the edification of the writer and the reader. Writers of the past have already done so. However, I have yet to discover how I may bring the three in perfect harmony as it pertains to my writing.

It is a trait of mine to first be over the top, then to be too understated and struggle to find that perfect balance. I noticed it in my writings. One day I'll be focused completely on the Lord, another will be a historical documentation of my drive home, another will be an outburst at a person who has upset me or done me wrong, yet another is a woeful (and private) discourse of my utter failings as a human being. I have found that perfect balance in many other situations, and, I hope to find it within my articles and allow the discipline and exercise of writing to shape me as a man.